It is December!!!
I am obsessing over this song. It is literally been on loop for the past three weeks.
My birthday month is here!!!
I am usually not a get excited about my birthday kind of girl. I get excited about getting birthday cake though but, other than that my excitement usually manifests when it is the day before my birthday not on 1st December at 4.30 am.
This year it is different because it has been a fantastic year. It is so easy for me to dwell on the negatives that have happened this year.To look at all the people who have come and gone in my life. I could look at the few very low moments and say that 2017 will be different. It will be, and we can say this together, my year. But, that takes away from all the amazing things that have happened.
I look back at who I was in January and compare it to who I am now and they are worlds apart. For the majority of it I have achieved and surpassed my resolutions and goals I had set out for myself. I had wanted to connect with people and experience everything. I wanted to be in the present and not get lost in the future.
I realized the greatest source of my frustration was due to this. I would want to live the life I had envisioned myself living in the next 5 years. I wanted to live my definition of success. As a result, I was getting destroyed by the process. I had not accepted that there is a journey to embark on first. This year I really believe I embraced the journey and it has been amazing. I let go of trying to fit into a fantasy I created and making that my reality. Instead I sat back and actually embraced my actual reality and it has been fantastic.
In order to achieve this I had to break myself down. What were my views on love, friendship, happiness, success, fitness, health, satisfaction? I broke everything I thought I knew and had been building for 22 years. Why? because they were not my thoughts, perceptions, attitudes or views. I had grown up absorbing other people’s views on things and accepted that as my own. This year I really internalized many of the things I thought were pillars in my life and started my journey towards my own definition of intentional living.
I usually consider my birthday my new year as opposed to January 1st like many people. This is usually the time I reflect back and look at what I did right and what I could improve on next year.I just simply go through the year. Thus, my writing (posting) challenge. I will post every day for 18 days (19 including today) Just going through the year. #19daysofgratitude as I call it. I am doing this challenge on instagram as well. I really want to focus on the people and the experiences that made my 22nd year so unforgettable.
Until next time,