Everyday I look at society and the human species and wonder if I would have been better off a giraffe.
This maybe a rant brace yourself.
If you are on whatsapp (who is not?) You may have realized they have changed their emojis to include what I think is a more realistic view of what family means in our time. I have heard views of people criticizing this change. Their biggest problem is the illustration of same sex families. They state that they are not normal. This has been brewing in my system for a long time and now I have had enough.
This word normal.Is it me or is it been used more and more to differentiate and discriminate others. During my trip to India I moved from been a majority to been a minority. I was literally I think the only black person in the area I was staying. My normal was not their normal. That is neither here or there.
It is high time academic institutions stop pushing “ideal” homes on children as normal. I am putting the blame squarely on these institutions. Actually, society can share the blame as well. There is plenty of blame to go around.
According to society I am from an abnormal family. I am from what you would refer to as a “broken” home. I have a single parent and step parent. So I am abnormal all round. I did not know there was something “wrong” with me until I started school. In school you are given tasks where you are taught in a home you have a father and a mother and siblings and they all live in one house. One house? So, that I have two homes what does that mean?
As a child I craved the normal. I wanted one home where prior to this I was very ok with having two of everything. I was not unstable. I did not feel neglected. I was just as happy as any child from a “normal” home. I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. Why was it that I was not “normal”? The clash between my reality and social exceptions of normal created a very bumpy road to self-acceptance. I can only imagine what children from same sex parents might be going through. They are what conservatives’ nightmares are made of.
This extends to and affects Step-parent and child relationship. I am a step child. There were many times I hated my step parent because society told me they were out to get me. Society showcased them as the devil incarnate. Step child or parent is like stepping on cow dung and pretending you did not. We all smell your stinky shoe can we at least address it? Can we stop demonizing the step relationship. While we are at it can you stop acting as if I was living mistake? I notice it. There is subtle negativity and discrimination that step children feel. We do not need you (yes you society) to make us feel worse off. It is normal. It is normal for two people to fall in love have a child and fall out of love.
Every form of family is normal. Single parent homes are normal. Step parent homes are normal. Blended families are normal. Same sex families are normal. Grandparents (and relatives) ran families are normal. Can we stop victimizing children especially from these homes. Can we stop acting like the majority of homes do not have both parents? I know more people from “broken” homes than “normal” homes.
Can we stop with sharing every negative thought we have? You telling people you do not accept their lifestyle does not change the way they will live. Why are you even voicing your concerns? Are they inflicting you in anyway? Why do you feel your opinion was needed? Why do you feel you need to state what is normal or not?
Can we focus on the love and support these “family” institutions lack or have rather than have rota to see who is missing or who is in excess?
I highly suspect giraffes do not have these problems. Humans. you amaze me.
Until next time,