When I was younger (around 13-16) I actively hid my intelligence. I do not know why I did that but, I went out of my way not to put in any effort. When the word smart was been used it was not used with me in mind. Not that I was daft or anything like that. I just did not want people knowing there was a brain in my skull. I remember this used to infuriate my parents to no end. It was not that I could not think it was that I refused to think.
It quickly became my way of life. I had mediocre grades and mediocre achievements. Things came very easily to me. I can take up different activities without much effort. It happened in athletics, swimming and piano. All my coaches and teachers said I had potential if only I put just a little effort. However, when time to put in just a little effort I would back out and drop the activity. I eventually formed a bad habit.
My whole logic behind this was I did not want people to expect a lot from me. Been disregarded was definitely the easier way of life. I also played down my intelligence so that I could have the upper hand. It sounds a bit twisted for a 16 year old but, I learned if people disregard you intellectually they do not consider you a threat.
I started showing the world just how smart I was a year after I founded Inteco. The “blonde” girl was not cutting it. People disregarding me was becoming a hindrance. They would talk to me like I did not know the difference between the sky and the sea. It would infuriate me. I did not realize that for many years that was the image I had put out there of myself it was no surprise that I was been treated in that way.
So I stopped down playing it.
I now go into situations making it clear that I am more than competent to do the job. I am learning the best, most amazing part of a woman is her mind. The one thing I was playing down is now my greatest asset. It is a process undoing the damage I self inflicted. I do not know a lot of things somebody of my age and education level should know because of actively ensured I was uneducated. It is a habit I will slowly rectify.
Until next time,