This is a topic girls (and I believe boys) at some point in their teenagehood go through. We all look for external approval. It might be on body image, intellect or sports. Whatever it is we wait to be told we are good or beautiful or brilliant before we believe in ourselves.
When I joined high school I hated a lot of things about my body. I hated that I had a defined jaw that made me feel masculine. I hated I had scars on my leg from a previous fall that made me not wear skirts for a very long time.
I really hated that I was skinny ( you might be like yea right) but, I was tiny. I felt my head was big for my body. ( It is quite hilarious right now) To hide my smallness I used to wear overgrown sweaters. Actually over-sized anything or I would layer up. I believed if I was a little chunkier I would be ok. The clothes became my comfort zone. I was not focusing on my “style”. I felt safe in bigger clothes. I felt people could not really tell just how small I was.
I did not bother to get “pretty” because I did not feel I was pretty and I would be living a lie. Plus, there was always a prettier girl than me so why bother right? It got so bad at some point I stopped looking in the mirror because I did not see any fascination with my face. We all have something about our body we would change given the option.
As I went through high school I started noticing people liked my tiny self. Like they envied ME? I could not fathom it. A lot of my friends wanted my ability to eat what I wanted regardless of quantity and not grow fat. There was actually one time I increased my eating to gain weight and I ended up losing weight. How frustrating is that? It is ironic that I wanted their body at the same time they wanted mine. The grass was greener on the other side.
There is this particular instant that was such a great eye opener for me. I had a friend who was on the bigger side. I loved her body. She did not. Unfortunately, she did not confide in me because I would not understand because I was not big. She did not realize I was also going through some body issues as well. That is when I realized I need to love what I have because they are people who want it. It will be stupid for me not to appreciate what I was given and get hang up on admiring others. I have talked to many women who have confirmed what they used to hate about themselves is now their greatest assets. To those who are having body issues now someone wants what you do not want. The world is crazy like that.
Embrace your beauty and “flaws”
Catch you in part 2
Until next time